The Parenthood/Romance Balance

Okay.

I know last week I blogged about regular routines, and our (my hubby and me) efforts to establish good habits with busy schedules, and we would later try building in more time for romance.

And when I wrote that post I faithfully believed we would find a way to work those special moments into our week.

Ha!

Try explaining that to our two year old daughter.

If you are married with a toddler, you have my sympathies. This is a new, fascinating time for your child. They are learning quickly, absorbing knowledge like a little sponge, soaking it all in and making their adoring parents so proud.

And frustrated.

Because they are learning quickly. Too quickly.

My daughter has already figured out how to use the childproof doorknob covers to keep her out of, or in, certain rooms.

She can climb in or on ANYTHING she has a mind to: dressers, desks, tables, beds, counters, etc; and knows all the drawers and cabinets she's not supposed to be getting into . . . and then DOES! No area of the house is safe from her.

And naptime . . . gone. She refuses to take an afternoon nap, and frankly, Mommy needs her writing time about as desperately as she needs oxygen.

And going to bed at night . . . forget it. She's climbing out of her crib, opening her bedroom door (by bypassing the doorknob cover), and running into the living room where Hubby and I are trying to have a conversation . . . Oh, I don't know, fifteen or twenty thousand times a night!

SO all our plans for shared moments of romance and connecting are pretty much on hold until we can figure out a way to deal with out precious, but oh, so annoying daughter.

But we aren't giving up. I refuse to believe that we have no hope of grown-up time until she's five or older. We got there with the twins, and it took a while, but we made it. I figure we'll make it with her too, we've just gotta be persistent.

I guess today's post is more about hope. Don't give up on the idea of romantic time alone with your spouse, because even if you missed the mark today, there's always tomorrow.

Later.

Regular Routines

Hello, all.

So sorry the blog has been silent for the last week. It's been a crazy, crazy time at our house with a conference, the kids' activities, Hubby's job being super busy, a new baby in the family . . . the list goes on and on.

And as busy as we've been, one thing we've managed to do is spend 30 minutes-1 hour together every night to catch up on our day, plan our schedules for the next couple of days, and just take some time to decompress together.

This is the time of year when it seems like everything gets going again with school, and routines get established, and it's a good time to get into good habits with your spouse, too.

So Hubby and I will continue our nightly debriefing, we'll probably watch a little TV together to unwind, and hopefully we'll continue to incorporate more romance in our lives as the fall season moves in.

Hope you all have a wonderful week, and do something special for your sweetie.

Later.

Role Reversal

As you’re reading this, I’m in Denver at the American Christian Fiction Writers annual conference. This year marks another major shift for me. Things had already changed dramatically around this time last year, when I’d recently signed my very first book publishing contract (with no idea a second one was only weeks away!). Now that my debut novel has been released, I’m anticipating my first time ever to participate in the huge multi-author book signing event this Saturday!

What does any of this have to do with romance, you may ask? I’m getting to that.

Here I am a couple of years away from . . . well, let’s just say my high school class held their 40-year reunion last summer . . . and my writing career has suddenly jumped into hyperdrive!

In the meantime, my husband, who took early retirement a few years ago from SBC (now AT&T) and is now a part-time consultant, has more and more free time on his hands.

Talk about role reversal!!! My husband could just as easily complain that I’m spending way too much time writing, too much time stressing over book promotion, too much time networking on blogs and social sites.

And not enough time doing fun stuff with him.

But he’s also walked with me every step of this writing journey, through 25+ years of finding time to write while raising a family, crying over rejections, celebrating contest wins and manuscript sales. He knows how much it means to me, how hard I’ve worked and how long I’ve prayed to reach this point.

See, that’s what romance is all about--sharing each other’s dreams, supporting each other through sorrow and celebration. Being willing to shift gears and give the other person space and freedom to pursue those dreams.

My sweet husband now does most of the grocery shopping, the occasional load of laundry, vacuuming, and general errands. He’s even willing to get supper started (provided I give him some clue of where to begin), and he has always, our entire married life together, done the dishes after supper.

Think about it. What sacrifices has your spouse made to enable you to pursue a dream? Have you done the same for your sweetheart? Are you willing to try?

You know you're almost at your third trimester when...

Can I just say how much I've enjoyed the second trimester of my pregnancy? Feeling the baby kick (a lot! I think she's going to be a dancer or a soccer player), losing the nausea, not having major back pains yet, not having as many hormonal surges...



...well, I think it's safe to say I am nearing the third trimester (27 weeks and counting).


This morning I was all set to go to work, makeup on and everything, ready to walk out the door. Then all of a sudden I am crying and I can't stop.


THANKFULLY, my hubby was home and didn't have to be at work until later in the morning. He has learned a lot since the early days of this first pregnancy (him: "what is wrong with you?" me: "it's called hormones and I CAN'T HELP IT!")


He was able to get me calmed down with a lot of hugs and calling in our dogs to give me kisses (can't help smiling when they do that). THEN he took me out for breakfast, which was completely spontaneous and helped me get hold of the rest of my composure before coming in to work. Needless to say, major husband points were earned today.


Even though the mid-week, mid-morning date was unusual and fun (and necessary!), the part that made me feel really special was how he prioritized and put my needs in front of everything else that was going on.


Now I just need to find a way to reciprocate tonight… maybe make a special dinner that I know he loves?

Thankful for a Supportive Husband

In just a few short days I will be on my way to the same writer's conference Janet mentioned in last Thursday's post.

And though I am not so fortunate to have my hubby going with me to Denver, I am fortunate to have a hubby who understands and supports my dream.

Money is tight for us at the moment, and we discussed at great length if going to this conference was the right move. I've had the money saved for the trip for six months or more. I was willing to forgo the conference and save the money for something else we might need.

But Hubby said no. He wanted me to go to Denver, take the workshops, meet with other writers, and make connections with possible editors and agents. He would take a couple of days off work to look after the kids, and also beg my mother to help out (which she agreed to do), and they would all be fine.

And since I know what a trial it can be for a dad to handle the kids all by himself when he usually works full time, it meant even more to me that he insisted I go.

Now I will return the generous gesture and find a way to give him the break he needs in the coming months.

Anyway, I hope you all have a fabulous week and find the chance to do something sweet for your sweetie.

Later.

Getting Away Again

It's conference time again and Dan and I will be leaving for Denver next week. This time we're going to stay an extra night or two at the hotel, so that we can visit with family living there, and we'll be making a stop at Dodge City on the way home for some research material. We have decided to take more time on these trips, get off the interstate once in awhile and see what we can find, drawing out the time together.

And while we're looking at this as another chance to have some time to ourselves--our kids are looking at it as the same for them--so everyone is happy.

As always, it will be good to meet up with old friends and meet new ones and learn more about this writing business I'm in. There is a golf course very close to the hotel we'll be staying at and Dan is thinking about taking his golf clubs. Several of my writer friends' husbands will be there too, so I'm sure he'll find lots to do while I'm in classes, etc.

But busy as it gets at these conferences, it's great to have him with me. We've been walking regularly lately, and we're hoping we'll be able to get our walks in around the hotel, too. It will be a good time to reconnect and I'm sure we'll have plenty to share with each other at the end of the day. We've found that just being there for each other is one of the best ways to show how much we love each other and we're looking forward to getting away again.

I Gotta Crush On You

Sorry about the trouble with the blog over the last week, but I think all the problems are fixed and we should be back in action.

So . . . on to my topic of the week.

As I mentioned in a previous post - I think - I have been watching a new show on TV. The show itself isn't really "new", its just new to me.

And I have a total crush on the male lead, Jeffrey Donovan, in this series. It's hard to say if I have a crush on the actor from the show, or the character he plays, Michael Westen. I think maybe it's a little of both.

Now, my husband finds this amusing. He points out to me, "Hey, your dream guy is taking his shirt off. You might wanna hurry up with the popcorn."

And I'm in the kitchen yelling, "Rewind it! Rewind it!"

He also happens to find the female lead, Gabrielle Anwar, very attractive, and it doesn't bother me a bit. Because I know I am committed to my hubby, and he's committed to me. We have a joke that if Reese Witherspoon shows up on our doorstep one day and wants to steal my husband away that he'll probably have to go, and the same goes for Ben Affleck and me, but you get the idea.

There isn't any jealousy or hurt feelings when we discuss having a crush on someone else, since we know it's not really an issue.

SO now I have a question for you all.

How do you feel about your spouse having a crush on someone else?

Feel free to leave comments on this topic, but just make sure to keep it respectful. I fully reserve the right to delete ugly or negative comments. :) Hey, my blog, my rules.

Later.