Just The Two of Us

Again. :) The kids all went on a church teen retreat this past weekend. They love going to those and Dan and I love that they do.

Once again we had the house to ourselves and a weekend to just go with the flow--and get some early Christmas shopping in. On Friday evening we went to browse for gifts and out to eat. Dan let me choose and of course I picked one of my favorite places--Olive Garden. The food was great, the time together even greater and we enjoyed talking about what to get everyone.

On Saturday, we left the house early so we could get that shopping done and be back for the football games Dan wanted to watch. We looked again, then made our decisions and I'm happy to say that most of our major shopping is done.

After lunch, we came home and I got in some household chores and a little writing while Dan watched the first of his games. A break for supper at IHop--his choice this time, and we had time to stop at Target before game time once more. Back at home, I hid all the gifts and read a little while the game was on.

It was a great weekend with time to just be together, whether we were talking or just keeping each other company. More romantic than it might sound--it's a blessing to love doing that, still, after all these years. :)

Anybody got a crowbar?

Confession time. I may write romance novels, but that doesn’t mean my everyday life is particularly romantic. In fact, more often than not, my life is decidedly unromantic.

So I have to ask myself, Whose fault is that?

Can I blame my husband for not being more creative in the romance department?

Can I blame work demands for draining our energy for romance?

Can I blame too much TV, too much Internet, too many chores, too many books in my TBR stack?

It’s much easier to tick off a dozen reasons like these instead of zeroing in on the real culprit--ME.

The solution sounds simple enough--eliminate what distractions I can and reprioritize the rest.

Unfortunately, there’s also the issue of fear. Fear of change. Fear of rejection. Fear of failure. Somehow the old adage, “Nothing ventured, nothing gained,” doesn’t necessarily instill romantic confidence.

In fact, anytime we make excuses about our lack of romantic creativity (are you listening, sweetie???), I’m pretty sure that’s our own fear talking.

The problem is, once you settle into a rut, it’s not so easy to pry yourself out of it. As we’ve said so many times here at RYS, romance must be intentional. If I want romance in my life, I have to be proactive about it. Alter my TV watching habits. Change out of my baggy sweats once in a while. Exchange Wheel of Fortune for a romantic CD and candlelight dinner (even if it is takeout).

Yep, I’m thinking I need to get hold of a good, sturdy crowbar and start prying.

Getting Away Again

It's conference time again and Dan and I will be leaving for Denver next week. This time we're going to stay an extra night or two at the hotel, so that we can visit with family living there, and we'll be making a stop at Dodge City on the way home for some research material. We have decided to take more time on these trips, get off the interstate once in awhile and see what we can find, drawing out the time together.

And while we're looking at this as another chance to have some time to ourselves--our kids are looking at it as the same for them--so everyone is happy.

As always, it will be good to meet up with old friends and meet new ones and learn more about this writing business I'm in. There is a golf course very close to the hotel we'll be staying at and Dan is thinking about taking his golf clubs. Several of my writer friends' husbands will be there too, so I'm sure he'll find lots to do while I'm in classes, etc.

But busy as it gets at these conferences, it's great to have him with me. We've been walking regularly lately, and we're hoping we'll be able to get our walks in around the hotel, too. It will be a good time to reconnect and I'm sure we'll have plenty to share with each other at the end of the day. We've found that just being there for each other is one of the best ways to show how much we love each other and we're looking forward to getting away again.

10 inexpensive things to do as a couple

Let’s face it--the economy hasn’t been very favorable for expensive dates or romantic getaways. But togetherness really doesn’t have to cost anything to be worth the effort. Here are ten suggestions for spending some inexpensive quality time with your sweetheart:

1. The popcorn/drink special at Target. For only a buck fifty or so, you get a bag of popcorn and medium soft drink--can’t beat that anywhere! My sweetie and I like to find a spot in the back where we can enjoy each other’s company as we people-watch. It’s relaxing, fun, and oh-so-cheap!
2. Window-shop at the mall. Okay, this one may be a little dangerous for your pocketbook if you happen to spy something you just can’t live without. But walking the mall is good exercise. It can also be a pleasant time of exchanging ideas and dreaming together about your future.
3. Bargain matinee at the movies. Even better, maybe you have a discount theater in your neighborhood. The movies may not be the most recent releases, but what’s more romantic than holding hands and stealing kisses in a darkened theater?
4. Walking the dogs at the park. Just as fun if you don’t have pets. Like the mall, good exercise. And there’s something about the forward momentum of a quiet walk to encourage pleasant conversation.
5. Act like kids again. Find a park or schoolyard with a playground and take turns pushing each other on a swing or going down a slide. Brave the merry-go-round only if you think your tummy can take it!
6. Read to each other. Try a series of books like The Chronicles of Narnia. Have fun with accents and dramatic voice inflections. My sweetie and I tried this one year, and it became one of our most treasured couple memories.
7. Stargaze. Just Google “sky map” for a list of sites where you can learn what’s visible in your area and how to identify what you find. If you have a telescope, so much the better.
8. Play a board game. It helps if you’re not too competitive, but games like Yahtzee and Scrabble are great two-person games and a fun way to stay connected.
9. Garden together. If you have a green thumb--or even if you don’t--tending a garden or even just a few potted plants can become a shared activity and pleasant escape from the daily grind.
10. Become birdwatchers. For a few dollars you can purchase a guidebook about birds in your area. Then spend a little money on seed and a feeder and have fun keeping track together of how many different kinds of birds visit your backyard.

That’s my list. What other ideas can you come up with? Everyone who leaves a comment on this post will have a chance to win a copy of my debut novel, One Imperfect Christmas, about a couple who must find their way back to each other after tragedy drives them apart. Contest ends midnight Sunday, August 23, and the winner will be contacted by e-mail, so be sure to log in with a valid e-mail address.

Just The Two of Us

Doesn't happen very often in this generational living we are taking part in, but once in a while, we do get a chance to have some time to ourselves. One of those times is coming up in a few weeks. Our daughter and her husband and the girls are going to Colorado for a week with the youth group at our church. They are really looking forward to it and I have to admit, Dan and I are looking forward to having the house to ourselves for that time.

Last time the kids went off, we had to change our plans because we were needed by another family member out of town. And while we know that the best laid plans can go haywire at the last minute, we're hopeful this time will workout. I'm thinking of the meals I can cook that Dan and I love, but not all of our family does. We'll go out to a favorite restaurant or two and maybe take a day trip or two for some research. Mostly, it will be nice to just go at our own pace for a few days and do our own thing, without working around all that goes on around here.

Oh, yes, we love the generational living. But we're looking forward to spending some quality time together, going and doing some of the things we enjoy that sometimes get pushed back or to the side, because we have so many other things going on. A week to just be together. What could be more romantic?