Run for the door!

Like many of you out there, I'm a very busy mother. My life is constantly packed with work, daily chores, running children all over God’s green earth and taking care of my hubby who travels for work. It's not hard to imagine that we, as a couple don’t have much alone time. More times than not, our mantra feels like “seek, conquer and divide,” especially on the weekends when we're busy trying to balance sports and church activities and getting together with family and friends. Now don't get me wrong, we LOVE our family, truly we do, however, there are times when we both need some quality time just the two of us without one of our kids jumping on our very last nerve! {{grin}}

In fact this past month, for one reason or another, our life has been especially challenging. There never seemed to be more than just a scant half hour for meal time before we were being torn in a multitude of different directions. I dread those times, ya know the ones where you simply feel as if you're robots stuck in survival mode, ya those times. No fun, no giggling, just work, work, work. Blah, blah, blah, ugh! It's draining.

So last night as I returned home from gathering kids from school and sports, a lightbulb clicked on…it’s early afternoon, there are leftovers, a microwave and it’s a beautiful day outside AND none of the kids needed to be anywhere. What? How did this happen?! Immediately my mind went into overdrive. I pulled my hubby aside. Could he possibly sneak away from work a little early? Yes? Hot dog! We’re outta here!

Without a second thought, I yanked out the leftover spaghetti for the kids, gave reheating directions, a firm directive to finish their homework, grabbed my hubby and out the door we flew!

A gorgeous evening to ourselves! Wahoo! I think we left tire tracks in the driveway!! We headed to the lake, took a nice long walk and tried a new restaurant.

Let me tell you folks, those few hours were wonderful! Little did we realize just how much we needed a break from our daily grind. We laughed, talked about the kids, plans for vacations and simply kicked back and relaxed. Absolutely wonderful!

The problem for most of us is remembering to enjoy each other’s company. We’re so bogged down with responsibilities that we forget who we were as a couple before mortgages, kids and bills.

Ya know what made this fun? Spontaneity. My husband teased me about how fast I pulled out dinner for the kids and got their homework organized in order to get out the door. He swore there was smoke coming from my shoes from zipping around the house so quickly!

So, if an opportunity to grab a few precious hours alone with your sweetie presents itself don't think twice, just hit the door running!

Holidays On The Way

Hello.

Normally, I am a plan ahead kind of gal, but rarely do I get the execution taken care of in a timely manner.

With the holiday season gearing up, it is easy to plan where you'll spend your holidays. Which side of the family gets Thanksgiving and who gets Christmas. If you're like us and both sides of the family are within easy driving distance, you might have more of a problem.

Then there are the kids activities this time of year, with school and church programs, class parties, etc.

So how do you and your spouse survive this time of the year with your sanity intact and your sense of romance going strong?

You plan. Just like you plan for the holiday meals and Christmas program, you plan time with your honey.

It may not be uber-romantic. It may not be spontaneous. It may not sweep you off your feet in a wave of soul-stirring passion, but seriously, did it really do that to begin with?

So work in the time whenever and however you can.

Spending an afternoon grocery shopping for a party? Make plans with your spouse to meet for an early lunch. Try not to focus on the stresses of the day when you're talking over the meal. Focus on the positives and the fun of sneaking in some time together.

Plan a wrapping/football watching afternoon together. You need to wrap presents, and he wants to watch the game. Get the kids out of the house (or lock them in their room), pop some popcorn, bake some cookies, and snack and hangout together.

Get the kids in bed a little early (and this may require extra effort during the day to wear them out) and spend the evening cuddled up in front of a fire, or watching the snow fall, or gazing at the stars, and enjoying the drink of your choice (whether it's wine or a Diet Coke).

Just remember, do your best to keep connected during the holiday season, and it will make for even more holiday cheer . . . and keep you from biting each others' heads off when things get stressful.

Later.

Romance Realities

Hello.

Well, over the weekend, between t-ball games, meetings, traveling, and baby showers (3 in all), I managed to fit in a little time to talk to my husband.

It was mostly on the trip home while the children were passed out cold in the backseat.

Hubby was very sweet and indulged me in letting me talk about the book I am trying to get finished this week. I discussed a scene I had already finished where the couple in my book have been arguing and fighting their growing attraction for reasons of personal baggage.

Hubby smiled politely, but I caught the slight eye roll.

"What?"

"I didn't say anything." He stared straight ahead.

"You're thinking something."

"No, I'm not." He sounded a little tense.

"You rolled your eyes."

"I didn't." Now he sounded desperate to change the subject.

"What?! Just tell me already."

Now he was more afraid of not telling me. "Okay. Fine. It's just that these two people have been fighting, right?"

"Yes."

"You've set it up to where they are so angry and annoyed with each other they are ready to strangle each other."

"Pretty much, yeah." I smile, thinking of all the chaos and mayhem in store for my characters.

"Then you have them kissing each other's lips off."

My smile gets bigger, thinking of all the tension and feeling going into the kiss. "Yes."

He shrugged. "Well, I don't ever remember us having a fight that ended up with us smooching all over each other."

Hmmm. "Sure we did." Didn't we?

He just raised his eyebrows at me, the look that said, 'Oh, come on. Who are you trying to kid here?'

And the longer I thought about it, the more I realized he was right. He'd go to the garage to work or mow the lawn or go back to watching the game. I'd go read a book (most likely romance), watch TV, or clean something until we cooled down.

Not a lot of lip-lock action going on before, during, or after our fight.

But maybe I should give it a try. Push the negative emotions aside and wrap Hubby in a kiss that curls his toes.

It would probably end the fight a lot faster and put us on the path to making up much sooner.

We'll see how it goes.

Hope you all have a great week and some smoochy-time with your sweetie, but hopefully no fights.

Later.

Wedding Anniversary

Hello everyone.

This past weekend marked my 11th Wedding Anniversary.

The kids were on Fall Break, and my mother-in-law graciously offered to take the children for a couple of days to give us some desperately needed alone time.

And to be honest, I don't think I realized just how badly Hubby and I needed this time together until we were sitting on the couch the first night they were gone. He looked at me with a mixture of intense relief and happiness, and said, "I'm so glad we're married."

Bestill my heart!

But actually, it surprised me a little, the depth of emotion in his statement. I guess sometimes I forget he needs quiet, uninterrupted time with me just like I need that time with him.

I'm the touchy, feely romantic one in our marriage. Don't get me wrong, Hubby comes up with some really wonderful, romantic gestures.

But I don't think about him needing time with me when I'm not the mother of his children or the practical wife. The one who works with him to keep our household running . . . not running smoothly, mind you . . . just running.

And to keep our children from killing themselves, each other, or us in some tragically funny way.

I forget he needs time just to be with me, the woman he met and fell in love with years ago. And I am still her, buried under layers of mom and wife, home-maker and writer, daughter, sister, and friend . . . and extra pounds, but we won't go there today.

The layers fall away (if only it were so easy with the extra pounds) and there's only us. Enjoying the quiet, talking about what we still want out of life, and remembering why we're still in love.

If you can find a way to get alone-time, take it. Talk. Go for quiet walks. Have dinner together. Make dinner together. Don't worry about making it fancy. Just savor the moment.

Later.

Anybody got a crowbar?

Confession time. I may write romance novels, but that doesn’t mean my everyday life is particularly romantic. In fact, more often than not, my life is decidedly unromantic.

So I have to ask myself, Whose fault is that?

Can I blame my husband for not being more creative in the romance department?

Can I blame work demands for draining our energy for romance?

Can I blame too much TV, too much Internet, too many chores, too many books in my TBR stack?

It’s much easier to tick off a dozen reasons like these instead of zeroing in on the real culprit--ME.

The solution sounds simple enough--eliminate what distractions I can and reprioritize the rest.

Unfortunately, there’s also the issue of fear. Fear of change. Fear of rejection. Fear of failure. Somehow the old adage, “Nothing ventured, nothing gained,” doesn’t necessarily instill romantic confidence.

In fact, anytime we make excuses about our lack of romantic creativity (are you listening, sweetie???), I’m pretty sure that’s our own fear talking.

The problem is, once you settle into a rut, it’s not so easy to pry yourself out of it. As we’ve said so many times here at RYS, romance must be intentional. If I want romance in my life, I have to be proactive about it. Alter my TV watching habits. Change out of my baggy sweats once in a while. Exchange Wheel of Fortune for a romantic CD and candlelight dinner (even if it is takeout).

Yep, I’m thinking I need to get hold of a good, sturdy crowbar and start prying.

To Be Read - One Imperfect Christmas by Myra Johnson

One Imperfect Christmas
Myra Johnson
Abingdon Press
ISBN# 9-787770-052767
5 stars

The holidays, most especially can lend itself to one of two camps, those that love Christmas and those who slightly resemble one of Charles Dickens famous characters. I, however, completely relish every single second of the Christmas holiday season. The moment Thanksgiving dinner is over, I pull out my Christmas music, start decorating all while I’m enjoying a piece of pumpkin pie, of course!

But since I still have a little bit of time before I crawl up into the attic and start pulling down Christmas decorations, I chose to settle into my favorite cozy chair and read Myra Johnson’s debut novel, One Imperfect Christmas. What a true delight!

One Imperfect Christmas tells the story of Natalie Pearce whose faith in God, her family and friends is sorely tested when her mother suffers a debilitating stroke while taking down the holiday decorations. Natalie can’t seem to get past the burdening thought that had she been present to help her mother take down the decorations, she somehow might have been able to prevent her mother’s current condition.

As she struggles to accept her mother’s health condition, her workaholic husband and a tempermental teenager compound life. And as if that were not enough, as Natalie learns that someone is sabotaging her new business venture while the mounting pressures of the emotional guilt she’s carrying around begins to take its toll on her and her loved ones. Will Natalie be able to accept the healing love of through her family be enough to help her cope as the new holiday season approaches or will everything she loves and cares for, all fall to pieces like a shattered Christmas ornament?

What I loved about One Imperfect Christmas is Ms. Johnson’s way of reminding us through this story that life is not without its struggles and heartaches, even in the most beautiful and special times of the year. We see through Natalie that life can be filled with heartache, depression, fear and uncertainty. Yet there is one thing that always remains steadfast and true, God’s love for us.

If you want a good book that will capture your heart and not let it go from the moment you pick it up, this will be the book for you. I encourage you pick up a copy and enjoy all that One Imperfect Christmas has to share. Happy Holidays!!

Okay, I have a confession to make.

I know I like to think I am the normal, stable, equalizing force in our marriage. The woman who brings out the best qualities in my husband, while striving to bring out the best qualities in myself, as well.

And in a sense, this is true.

But I don't think I give enough credit to my Dear Hubby.

The past week has been a perfect example.

I have been trying to make great strides to finish the manuscript I have been working on so I can submit it to an editor. Hubby gave me as much time as he could so I could write, even though his schedule at work has been crazy-busy.

And in the process, our house fell into even more chaos than usual.

So this weekend we were working on getting the house picked up and fighting our way through the jungle of laundry. And when I get my teeth in a project, it pretty much takes the Jaws of Life to pry me away from it.

The extra project I took on was sorting through our daughter's clothes, weeding out the things that don't fit anymore, trying to match up the clothes that do, storing the summer clothes for next year, and washing 8 huge crates of hand-me-downs given to us by Hubby's VERY generous aunt.

It took hours and hours to go through all those clothes. I know Hubby had other things he would rather have been doing, but he also knew it was important to me to get this project out of the way. So he bit the bullet and helped me wash, sort, fold, and put everything away.

It was a very generous, kind thing to do, and I really appreciated his effort.

So now it's my turn to do something equally generous on his behalf. And hopefully I will do it without whining, because Hubby was a really good sport about it, and kept his complaints to a minimum. I'm also pretty sure letting him watch a baseball game and two football games while we worked helped in the complaint department, but I'll take what I can get.

Later.