Monday, May 11, 2009

Searching for Common Ground

I've posted before on how important it is (to me) to focus on the positives in a marriage. How you should think of some of the many wonderful aspects of your mate's personality, write them down, and give them to your sweetie to see.

And I still believe this is true.

But today I am focusing on another topic. Opposites. Which can lead to irritation, and negatives in your marriage.

I have to say, in many ways, my husband and I are very different. We do not have the same taste in: movies, books, music, hobbies, political views, TV shows . . . you get the idea.

Right now, I am listening to a Classical Standards radio station . . . Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra, Billie Holiday, Bing Crosby, Ella Fitzgerald. Hubby would rather hear Big 80's Hair Metal bands . . . Guns-N-Roses, Poison, Warrant, Motley Crew, Ratt.

He loves the mob movies . . . The Godfather (I, II, & III), Goodfellas, Scarface, Pulp Fiction.

I love romantic comedies and classics . . . Return to Me, Sabrina, Pride & Prejudice, While You Were Sleeping.

The book he is currently reading . . . Tom Clancy: The Sum of All Fears.

The book I am currently reading . . . Lisa Wingate: Texas Cooking.

Sometimes I get jealous when I read about, or hear stories about, these couples who seem identical, and their personalities and tastes are just an extension of each other. They love to do the same things, and life for them is so compatible.

That is so not us.

We have to make lots of compromises in our lifestyle, but we also expose each other to new experiences.

Minor league baseball games. That's all we have in our area, and I LOVE them. I love going to them, and never would have done it if hubby hadn't insisted we go.

Line Dancing. I learned a few in high school, and after we were married, our church offered a free class. Hubby hated the idea, but went because I begged. HE loved it!

Swing Dancing. We both love it, but I insisted first.

Sudoku. Hubby got me started, and I really like doing those puzzles now.

So . . . I guess my point in this post is even if you have differences in your personal tastes, sometimes it's rewarding to try something your sweetie likes. Watch a movie that's his favorite. Let him choose the radio station in the car (even if it just sounds like noise to you). Do something she really wants to do, like dance lessons.

You just never know when you're going to turn an opposite into a similarity.