Monday, May 4, 2009

Two Kinds of People . . .

I was reading from a book I bought a few months ago, "1001 Ways to be Romantic" by Gregory Godek, to my husband.

It was from a section called 'Two'.

"There are two kinds of people in the world: Object People and Experience People.

Object People see love symbolized in gifts, in things: roses, jewelry, socket wrench sets. Experience People see love expressed in time spent together, in experiences: dinner, movies, bowling.

Neither is better than the other, they're just personal preference. And, interestingly, neither preference is related to gender.

Why do you need to know this? Because if your partner is an object person, and you take her to the best restaurant in town and drop $200 on an elegant experience, she'll still be expecting a gift at the end of the evening!

She's not being selfish, she's just being herself.

Object people love items that have special meaning. Experience people love activities that create special memories.

Tip: Don't argue about it. Neither of you will ever change the other."

Hubby and I both agreed that we are definitely Experience people.

Last year for hubby's birthday, the kids and I worked all afternoon to create paper streamers out of construction paper. I made his favorite dinner, baked him a cake, we blew up balloons, and decorated the kitchen and dining room.

When we heard the garage door open, we hid behind the counters and under the table, and surprised him when he came through the door.

And he was so happy and moved that we would do this for him, he didn't even care that there were no presents. He told me later that us getting him a gift never entered his head, but the impromptu surprise party made him feel extra special.

On the other hand, my sister-in-law is absolutely a gift person. A birtday has not been properly celebrated until a present has been given. Or Mother's Day. Or Easter. Or any other holiday. She is an Object Person all the way, and my brother has finally learned this about his wife.

So if you want to help create memorable moments, or make your spouse feel extra special, consider whether they are Object People or Experience People, and you might just earn a few extra points with your sweetie.



  1. Interesting, Denice. Reminds me of the five love languages. No matter how loudly our spouse "speaks" love, if it's not in the language we understand and appreciate, the effect isn't the same.

  2. I agree. When I was reading it to Scott, it was nice to realize we were both speaking the same "language" on this one. We're both more about the experience than a gift.

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  5. I guess I'm a "symbol" kind of person. If I receive a gift that commemorates who I am or where I am in life at that time, it's more meaningful that something elaborate or expensive. You gave me such a gift one time, Denice. Remember my lighthouse fetish? You spent hours and hours and hours making me a cross-stitch lighthouse picture. It's still one of my favorite things--you met me where I was at the time.
    For my birthday a couple of weeks ago, Max gave me a rhinstone lapel pin that is a lilac stem. Tiny purple stones among the sparkling clear ones. The object? He wanted me to have it to wear when I went to booksignings for Chasing Lilacs. It couldn't have been more perfect.
    Gifts aren't always expected, but when someone does something that hits an emotion button, I just melt.