Thursday, February 5, 2009

Intro/Love Languages

I am one of the monthly contributors to this blog. What a perfect month to really get start! With Valentine's Day only nine days away, this blog is so appropriate. After all love is in the air and people are out there frantically looking for the perfect gift for their significant other.

Before I go any further, I'll tell you a little about me. I write contemporary romance and romantic suspense for Steeple Hill Love Inspired lines. You can check my web site out for more information on my books. I have been writing for twenty-nine years and also been blessed to have been married thirty-eight years. My husband is my best friend. We often finish each other sentences and know what the other is thinking--I don't read minds but after thirty-eight years I know my husband well. He's actually more of a romantic than I am. The picture is of my husband and I on vacation last summer. Our hair is just a little wind blown. To tell you the truth, I don't have a lot of digital pictures of us together. Either I was taking the picture or he was.

What I wanted to talk about is a book I read called The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. If you haven't read it, I highly recommend it. It is a very interesting look at how people relate to their love ones. And it could definitely help in romancing your spouse, especially if you've hit a snag.

Below are the five love languages. Which one are you? Which one is your spouse? It helps to figure it out.

These are the five love languages:
1) Words of Affirmation-Some people need to hear the words from their loved one to believe they are loved. They need verbal compliments and praises.

2) Receiving Gifts-To others the receiving of a gift from their loved one tells them they are loved by that person. The gifts don’t necessary have to be expensive. The thought behind the gift is what is most important. It tells the person he was thinking about her. In a time of turmoil the gift of your presence can be what is valued the most.

3) Acts of Service-There are some who need love expressed through doing something for them. It could be something like doing the dishes or taking out the trash. It is important that the act of service is given freely, not demanded.

4) Quality Time-Another love language is spending quality time with your loved one. I don’t just mean being with him. I mean really talking and listening to him. You must be totally focused on him to the exclusion of everything else. Within this are also quality activities. When doing things together, one should want to do the activity and the other has agreed. You are showing your love by doing the activity together.

5) Physical Touch-A touch on his arm as you walk by, holding hands on a couch, or a back rub when he is tense can be to some an expression of love. There are many levels of physical touch and not all have to be intimate to show you love someone.

So are you and your spouse speaking a foreign language to each other? If you aren't understanding what's going on with your spouse, you might be talking in a different language.


  1. So he really does exist! Great pic and great book!

  2. Margaret, you are such a cool looking couple--windblown and all. I can see the joy on your faces! Thanks for the nudge about the love languages. I'm using this prototype in my current WIP for my characters. It makes for some very interesting conflict as well as showing loving sacrifice to be the best mate for your spouse. Happy Valentine's Day!

  3. I don't have many pictures of my husband and I together that are digital, but that was one of them.

  4. Yes! This is a great book! It helped us understand that we were trying to show each other love the way WE wanted to be shown love - and our love languages are so different! Thanks for that reminder!

  5. Nice to "see" your husband, Margaret! You two make a darling couple!

    The love languages book is a great resource. My husband's language is definitely "acts of service." For one of my daughters, it's "gifts." I think I'm into "words of affirmation" and "quality time." What makes life interesting is when we "speak" our own love language to someone else and they don't respond the way we would (or expect them to). You definitely need to become multilingual!