Friday, February 6, 2009

Investing in Happily Ever After

Ok, so I’ll admit it. I’m a hopeless romantic. Always have been, always will be. Which is why I love watching chick flicks. Boy meets girl, they overcome a few obstacles, fall in love and then poof! Happily ever after. Ahhh…my kind of ending.

Frankly, I would love nothing more than to stay in that googly-eyed, butterflies-in-the-stomach sort of moment but let’s face it, when the movie ends; life smacks you between the dirty laundry, cranky kids and job relocations. So then what happens to happily ever after? Exactly, it takes a back seat.

Now for those of you who have kids, you know very well what happens when children sit in the back seat of your car. Yep, junk everywhere. And if you’re not careful things might get spilled and permanently soiled making it near impossible to clean and make new.

That’s what happens to our marriages when we don’t make them a priority. They become crusty and gross. Is it easy to make time? No, it’s not. Good Lord, if it were, do you think the divorce rate would still be tipping the scales at 50%? Not a chance! We’d all be living in the happily ever after stage and divorce court wouldn’t exist.

Let me share something that my husband and I have done from the minute we met each other. We date. Sounds simple right? It’s not. Especially when you throw kids into the picture. But let me tell you from experience what’s harder. Divorce.

So for the past 18 years we have made our marriage a priority by having a Friday night date. What do we do? Walk & talk. We hand our kids over to grandparents or sitters, and head to our favorite park. I can’t tell you how many miles we’ve tallied as we’ve discussed our kids, jobs, family, friends and the highs & lows of life.

Every mile, every minute that we share is an investment. Those walks belong to us. It’s our time as a couple to stimulate and revive our happily ever after. I believe every marriage needs a date. Often. A time set apart that will enable you both to remember why the person you’re married to is your best friend, confidante and lover.

Let me encourage you to do the same. Find a time and place where you can hold hands, talk about your dreams and invest in happily ever after. When you do, you will find that you cherish those moments. They will draw you closer to each other and make your marriage stronger.

Now it’s your turn. Tell me what you do as a couple to invest in your happily ever after. Do you grab burgers at your favorite drive-in? Take long drives in the country? Are you a Harley couple who love the open road? Drop me a line and share your date night stories and how they impact your marriage. I look forward to hearing from you.

Blessings from me to you ~ Amy


  1. Amy, I admire your making "intentional" Friday night dates to stay connected with your spouse. It's not easy. When we had little kids, Max and I would often go to lunch (the $2.99 special at El Chico way back in the day) when the kids were at Mother's Day Out. Now, we enjoy our early evening walks with our dog and road trips where we're trapped in the car together :-)

  2. Amy, Great post. I'm with Carla on the dog walk thing. Maybe he is a menace who eats strange things (the dog, not my husband), but those evening walks have been a cherished bonding time for my hubby and I.

  3. My hubby works nights, so its hard to get time together. A few years ago, I suggested meeting me for lunch. Twice a month we meet for lunch. Sometimes we talk sometimes we just eat.
    For me I enjoy having him to myself. I would love to try walking together. I might have to suggest that when it warms up here.

  4. Carla, Erin & LaShaunda,

    Going for a walk is our favorite past time. There's something about getting out in the fresh air that simply relaxes you. Even when we lived in rainy Seattle, we managed to bundle up and go for a walk. Sure we came home soaked but each time we felt like we rid ourselves of our daily pressures & reconnected. Walking together hand in hand allows you the opportunity to remember why you chose to love each other "til death do us part". Many blessings to you & your sweetie ~ Amy

  5. My hubby and I enjoy dancing together, which was easier when we lived in the big city and could attend the university dance club. However, our small town recently brought in a dance instructor, so we've found a babysitter and gone out for that. We have fun, get moving, relax... it's great. :)